Dear reader,
Welcome to another issue of This Should Have Been an Email, a whimsical publication that sways between the inspirational and the ridicule, like Elvis in the 50s.
I was not sure what to write about this week until I read this email on Monday morning:
Someone donated 10 USD to support the demo of my video game (Capybara Echoes).
I was flabbergasted.
In case you don’t know, this is a short free-to-play demo of an unrealised game I worked on during lockdown. You can play it on the browser without downloading anything so there are zero reasons to pay for it, hence my surprise.
At first, I thought this could only be an error or a phishing scam. I mean, who in their right mind would give away money towards a project that is as dead as NFTs?
I logged in to my itch.io account immediately and, to my surprise, the money was there. No scam, no phishing, and no mistake; another human being on this floating rock that we call Earth found my game and thought I could use an extra $10.00 (and they were right!)
My Sherlockian investigation suggests that a massive American Youtuber is behind this charitable gesture. Since this person is my “customer” I cannot disclose his identity, but this guy has got millions of subscribers.
So what’s the deal, then?
Has my ugly unfinished game gone viral?
Is it time to quit my job and pursue a career making games?
Sadly… no.
This won’t be a pivotal moment in my nonexistent career as a game developer. At best, it is just a small anecdote without lasting implications. However, it makes a great case of something I have been meaning to write about for a while: the butterfly effect.
Butterfly Effect (noun)
A property of chaotic systems (such as the atmosphere) by which small changes in initial conditions can lead to large-scale and unpredictable variation in the future state of the system.
Let me tell you a story.
In May of 2010, I received a text from my friend Miguel (the one that used to call me Napoleon) inviting me to an event at our former high school. It was our first chance to visit the place as alumni, a golden opportunity to march around the building as triumphant soldiers on a conquered land.
As appealing as it sounded, I had other plans. At the time, I was staying at my uncle’s apartment in the city centre and had the place entirely for myself. The possibilities were endless.
Yet, for some inexplicable reason, I chose to go to this event over many other things. Inadvertently, I had also stumbled upon the path that led to meeting the girl that is now my wife.
As she now recalls, it was during that event in May of 2010 that she first set her eyes on me, following up with some social media flirting and going out on our first date a year later.
[Yeah, it took us a year; we were both playing hard to get.]
Whenever I think about the butterfly effect (which is often), that text message from Miguel pops into my head. How did such a seemingly unimportant action allow my marriage to come to fruition?
Once you start looking at things from this perspective, you find a domino effect everywhere. Here is a curious example, brought to you by the Qatar World Cup, Messi, Emi Martinez, and the French/Argentinian player Neal Maupay.
Adolf Hitler, arguably the most infamous person in modern history, could also be the unsuspected protagonist of the butterfly effect. Some historians believe that “his aversion to everything Jewish materialised when he lived and worked as a painter in Vienna (1908 - 1913)”.
The reason he was in Vienna, following the death of his mother, was to study at the Academy of Fine Arts and become an artist. He got rejected on two different occasions, as his drawings were deemed unsatisfactory.
As a frustrated young artist, he later became interested in politics and we know what happened next.
For many, the realisation that every act, however small, has the potential to drastically change our lives can be daunting. It’s a feeling that feeds our fear of better options (FOBO), causing us to irrationally overthink our decisions until we are too exhausted or insecure to even make one.
Michelle Florendo makes some great remarks on this topic:
People are afraid of making the wrong decision, and at the base of that is a fallacy of what a good decision even is. A lot of people think it’s one that produces a good outcome, but that fails to take into account that, while an outcome can be partially driven by our decision, it’s also driven by a piece we cannot control.
I would rephrase that to say it’s not only one piece that we cannot control, there are many of them.
It’s not only our small acts that have the potential to join two people in marriage or unleash a cataclysmic armed conflict. Instead, it is an intricate combination of those acts, many of which will be performed by people and forces unknown to us, that hold that frightening potential.
Personally, I enjoy contemplating the nature of the butterfly effect in reverse. Instead of fearing the future and the possible implications of every decision I make, I focus on the things that do happen and appreciate the elegant cosmic dance that made those things possible.
Think about the extraordinary places and people in your life, even the ones that were there fleetingly, and consider how many decisions took you there. I am guessing that you will discover that you made most of those decisions lightly and life rewarded your courage to move forward.
Perhaps, those $10.00 I got from a random Youtuber are another seemingly insignificant action in the fabric of space and time, but who knows? Maybe that small gesture is exactly what I needed to bring my attention back to making games, writing stories, and trusting myself to be successful while doing the things I enjoy.
That’s it for today, chaps. I will be back to brighten your day with my wit and charm next Wednesday.
Until then, help yourself to some great reads:
How to Be an Expert Fear-Driven Person [MUST READ!!!]
Taliban Bureaucrats Hate Working Online All Day, ‘Miss the Days of Jihad’
As always, please remember to:
Share this publication with friends and family. I need external validation to keep me going!
Drink water and reduce the sodium intake in your diet.
Call and message your loved ones.
Mind the gap between the train and the platform.
Peace out, kiddo.
C.